The fucking irony of it all:
I make the men around me lose their shit, fall head over heels, insist in watching sunrises and ask me to follow them around the world - that I would “really really like” their hometown. That “next week when I propose to you”…
But when I find someone that I’m actually crazy about, have fun with and am attracted to he has to be the one guy that walks away.
"In the event of a hangover Blame Canada!"
But actually blame the wine.
New York I Love You But You're Bringing me down
“I turn the volume up. Bad station. Top 40. Static. But then I hear a song that I remember listening to when I was seeing Victor. It was a dumb song and I didn’t like it at the time but it suits the moment now and it makes me cry. I want to write this feeling down, or draw it out, but then I feel like that would make the whole thing seem impure and artificial. I decide it will only cheapen the feeling so I lay there in the white brightness and think of memories the song brings. Of Victor. Victor’s hands. Victor’s leopard-skin pants. Ripped army boots and … his pubic hair? His arms. Watching him shave. At the Palladium, how handsome he looked in a tuxedo. Making love in his apartment. Brown eyes. What else? He starts to fade. I get scared. I get scared because while I’m laying here it suddenly seems as if he doesn’t exist anymore. It seems as if only the song that’s playing exists, not Victor. It’s almost as if I had made him up last summer.”
- Bret Easton Ellis, The Rules of Attraction p. 39-40
The National Gallery of Victoria, yesterday. I was stricken with the realization of the things about him that remind me of you; orange backpack, carabiner with keys on back-right belt loop. This always happens, disturbingly similar traits or quirks between the men that come into my life.
The Universe likes to have fun with me, I think.
This is still the set up to the great joke.
And the Universe is already laughing.
I guess this is what freedom looks like.
“I find with relationships, if it’s not a “Fuck Yes” it’s a “No.””
—Barista insight of the day
I have completely ran out of fucks today and this is fortunately all I can give #rollsolocuzyolo #sweatpantsonasummerday #neverleavingthisbasement
Look how few fucks run in the family!
I’m currently living in a place in which I can’t find a fuck to give, while also beating myself up every hour for not giving enough fucks about anything.