"Viktor was sent off today. I was hanging around for the goodbyes and for the better part of the afternoon watched him and Justine slowly work up the nerve to part, and as romantic as it’s been to bawl my eyes out in airports I’m really glad that there’s no immediate future where we have to part ways and I don’t know when I’ll see you again."
“Cuddle me, I’m freezing.”
Happy one-year thing,
And what a year, eh?
I feel like a lucky woman to have so much potential at my finger tips
Let’s do more adventure things.
The films of Wes Anderson
Edmonton, AB - March 31st, 2014
City and Colour
If you were to leave
Fulfill someone else’s dreams
I think I might totally be lost
"It makes me feel pretty nifty that you’re putting that stuff in public. It makes me feel like you’re proud of having me. And that makes me feel pretty goddamn good that someone as spectacular as you has let me get close to your heart. It also makes me remember almost every smooth curve of your beautiful body under my hands. Makes me feel you wrapped around me face to face and feel the buck of your hip—makes me become absorbed by the humming in my chest.
I am so so very stoked to have you wrapped around me and whispering to me about your day in my ear. Could I maybe wake up to your sweet face?
I don’t know what stroke of fate lucked me into being in the crosshairs of your affections but it was a lucky one.
You are wonderful. We are great. I’d be a tremendous fool not to give us a proper shot.
I don’t know what the future is gonna hold and I look forward to playing things by ear…together. You are my woman and there is no one who satisfies me, body, mind, and soul, like you do.
I really just want a sweet feeshy lady at my side. And also some nuzzles. And a solid dance partner. And a smile that makes my heart beat faster wouldn’t hurt. Just about everyone has their woman, I want mine.”
- Things I want closer to the surface of my recollection.
I disappeared for the night without letting anyone know where I was headed, and the sun came up without a soul shaken by the absence of my existence.
Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen”
—Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today (via tetraghost)
"Right now if I close my eyes I can almost feel you fit perfectly against me, your smooth warm skin pressed against my side from my chest to the side of my shin. Your big blue eyes are looking into mine and you’re smiling. One of those glowing, laughing, carnivorous smiles that makes me feel like I must have done something very right (forgive me, I can’t quite find the right words for what it actually feels like)."
Jesus help me.
You will never be let down by
more than you will be let down
by the one you love most in the world
It’s how gravity works
It’s why they call it “falling”
It’s why the truth is harder to tell
you have more to lose
But you can bury your past
in the garden
by the tulips
until it’s so alive
it lets go
And you belong to yourself
When you belong to yourself again
is not a tidy grave
it is a ready loyal knight kneeling before your royal heart
Call in your royal heart
Tell it bravery can never be measured by a lack of fear
It takes guts to tremble
It takes so much tremble to love
Every first date is a fucking earthquake
Sweetheart, on our first date
I showed off all my therapy
I flaunted the couch
Where I finally coughed out my history
I pulled out the photo album from the last time I wore a lie to the school dance
I smiled and said “That was never my style
look how fixed I am
look how there’s no more drywall on my fist
look at the stilts I’ve been carving for my short temper
look how my wrist is not something I have to hide” I said
Well I was hiding it
The telephone pole still down from the storm
By our third date I had fixed the line
I said listen,
I have a hard time
I mean I cry as often as most people pee and I don’t shut the door behind me
I’ll be up in your face screaming
“SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY
I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE HERE”
I sobbed on our fourth date
I can’t live here
in my body, I mean
I can’t live in my body all the time I feel too much
So if I ever feel far away know I am not gone
I am just underneath my grief
Adjusting the dial on my radio face so I can take this life with all of it’s love and all of it’s loss
Because I already know you are the place I’m going to finally sing without any static meaning
I’m never gonna wait
that extra twenty minutes
to text you back,
and I’m never gonna play
hard to get
when I know your life
has been hard enough already.
When we all know everyone’s life
has been hard enough already
It’s hard to watch
this game we make of love,
like everyone’s playing checkers
with their scars,
whenever they get out
without a broken heart
Just to be clear
I don’t want to get out
without a broken heart
I intend to leave this life
there better gonna be
a thousand separate heavens
for all of my separate parts
And none of those parts are going to be wearing the romance from the overpriced vintage rack
Meaning I don’t need a single speed bike if I can make it up the hill
I know exactly how many gears I’m going to need to love you well
And none of them look hip at the hot coffee shop
They all have God saying “Good job you’re finally not full of bullshit”
You finally met someone who’s going to flatten your knee caps into skipping stones
Baby, throw me
Throw me as far as I can go
I don’t want to leave this life without ever having come home
And I want to come home to you
I can figure out the rain
—Andrea Gibson, “Royal Heart” (via hiddenshores)